Villa park the bus? FORGET IT – they PARKED a bulldozer on Arsenal's hopes!
What a day, folks. What an ABSOLUTE belter of a Saturday in the Premier League. If you blinked, you missed it. If you went to make a cuppa at the wrong moment, you probably threw it at the wall when you came back.
Let's start with the big one, shall we? Aston Villa 2-1 Arsenal. The Gunners came into Villa Park looking all smug, riding an 18-match unbeaten run, sitting pretty at the top of the table. And then? Then Unai Emery's boys reminded everyone that football is a CRUEL mistress.
Matty Cash fired Villa ahead in the 36th minute with a screamer that had the home fans absolutely losing their minds. Mikel Arteta's lot managed to level through Leandro Trossard before the hour mark, and you could almost HEAR the sigh of relief from every Arsenal fan on the planet.
But this is football. This is drama. This is the Premier League at its most BRUTAL.
Buendia breaks Arsenal hearts in the 94th minute
Just when everyone thought the points would be shared, up popped Emile Buendia in the 94th minute. NINETY-FOURTH MINUTE, people! A rebound, a cool finish, and suddenly Villa Park erupted like a volcano. Arsenal's players stood there, absolutely GUTTED. Arteta looked like someone had nicked his lunch money.
That result sends Villa soaring to second place. And Arsenal? They're still top, but suddenly everyone behind them is sniffing blood. Liverpool, Man City, everyone – the title race just got SPICY.
Man City cruise as Cherki puts on a SHOW
Speaking of the Citizens, Pep Guardiola's boys weren't messing about. Manchester City dismantled Sunderland 3-0 at the Etihad, and honestly, it could have been more.
Rúben Dias opened the scoring with an absolute ROCKET of a right-footer that left the keeper rooted to the spot. Then Joško Gvardiol rose like a salmon – a very large, Croatian salmon – to head home from a corner just before half-time.
And the cherry on top? Rayan Cherki, that French wizard, produced a RABONA assist for Phil Foden to seal the deal. A rabona! In the Premier League! The audacity of the lad is something else.
Oh, and Sunderland's Luke O'Nien saw red for a nasty challenge on Matheus Nunes. Not the away day the Black Cats were hoping for, that's for certain.
Dyche's nightmare return to Goodison – sorry, Hill Dickinson Stadium
Now THIS one was awkward. Sean Dyche, sacked by Everton back in January, returned to Merseyside with his new club Nottingham Forest. And the reception? Let's just say it wasn't exactly roses and chocolates.
David Moyes' Everton HAMMERED Forest 3-0. An own goal from Nikola Milenkovic after just TWO minutes set the tone. Thierno Barry finally got off the mark with his first Toffees goal before the break, and Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall wrapped things up with a lovely finish.
Dyche must have wished he'd stayed on the team bus. The fans gave him pelters, the team gave him nothing to cheer about. Brutal stuff.
Everton climb to fifth with that win, and you have to credit Moyes. The man knows what he's doing. Proper football, none of your fancy nonsense.
Spurs bounce back as Thomas Frank faces old friends
At the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, another emotional subplot. Thomas Frank took his Brentford side to face his new employers – wait, that's backwards. Frank is NOW the Spurs gaffer, so he was facing his OLD club. Either way, complicated emotions, tricky afternoon.
But Xavi Simons didn't care about any of that. The Dutch playmaker was SENSATIONAL. He teed up Richarlison for the opener with a lovely through ball, then doubled the lead himself with a stunning strike that had the home fans purring.
2-0 Spurs. A much-needed win for Frank after Tottenham's wobbly home form. Brentford, meanwhile, trudge back to west London empty-handed.
Newcastle cruise, Chelsea snore
Quick-fire round now. Newcastle saw off Burnley 2-1 at St James' Park, with Bruno Guimarães scoring an absolute OLIMPICO – that's a goal direct from a corner, for those of you not fluent in Brazilian magic. Anthony Gordon added another. Job done. European push continues.
Meanwhile, at the Vitality Stadium, Bournemouth and Chelsea played out the most DIRE 0-0 you'll ever see. Honestly, watching paint dry would have been more entertaining. Enzo Maresca's Chelsea are supposed to be this exciting attacking force, but they looked about as threatening as a soggy biscuit.
Liverpool's crisis deepens – can Slot survive?
And then there's Liverpool. Oh, Liverpool. What has happened to the champions? They headed to Elland Road tonight sitting in NINTH place. Ninth! That's closer to the relegation zone than to Arsenal at the top.
Arne Slot is under MASSIVE pressure. Just five points from their last 27 available in the league. That's relegation form, that is. The Dutch manager is facing questions every single week now, and unless things turn around quickly, well... let's just say the bookies have stopped taking bets on the next manager to be sacked.
Leeds, fresh off a brilliant 3-1 win over Chelsea in midweek, were ready to cause more problems. Daniel Farke's new three-at-the-back system has finally clicked, and they're scrapping for every point to stay above the drop zone.
The title race is WIDE OPEN
So where does this leave us? Arsenal still top, but they've been wounded. Villa are flying. Man City are closing the gap. And Liverpool? Well, they need a miracle.
This Premier League season has been BONKERS, and we're not even at Christmas yet. Buckle up, folks. It's going to be a wild ride.
