There are bad days. There are embarrassing days. And then there's losing to a club bought on Rightmove after a four-day bender.
Crystal Palace, the FA Cup holders, the side who lifted that famous trophy at Wembley just eight months ago, were sent packing by Macclesfield FC on Saturday. Final score: 2-1. The gap between them? 117 places in the football pyramid. Read that again.
A shock 117 years in the making
Not since 1909 had the FA Cup holders lost to a non-league side. Back then? It was Palace themselves knocking out Wolves. The irony writes itself, doesn't it?
But let's not dress this up as some romantic underdog story where Palace were unlucky. They weren't. Manager Oliver Glasner said it himself after the final whistle: "Our Under-21 team would do better than we did today." Brutal. Honest. And probably true.
He called Isaac Buckley-Ricketts' second goal "slapstick." He admitted his players showed no quality. No pride. No fight. Palace didn't just lose — they surrendered. Nine games without a win now. Nine.
The Rooney connection that made Wayne cry
While Glasner was looking like a man who'd just watched his house burn down, there was pure joy on the Macclesfield bench. John Rooney, the gaffer, younger brother of England legend Wayne, had just pulled off the biggest upset in FA Cup history.
Wayne was on punditry duty for the BBC. When the final whistle blew and 5,348 fans stormed the pitch at Moss Rose, England's all-time top scorer could barely speak. Voice cracking, eyes welling up: "I'm getting emotional. To see my younger brother achieve this... He's not long been a manager. I'm so proud."
John, for his part, was equally stunned: "I can't get my head around it. I thought we were incredible from the first minute. We were the deserved winners."
The day belonged to Dawson
Captain Paul Dawson set the tone inside 30 seconds — a crunching challenge that left him needing stitches. Bandaged up, blood still fresh, the 27-year-old then headed home the opener just before half-time. Talk about a statement.
But there was something heavier on Dawson's mind. Something that put football into perspective. Last month, Macclesfield lost 21-year-old forward Ethan McLeod in a car accident, returning from an away match at Bedford. The club is still grieving. McLeod's parents were in the stands on Saturday.
"That was for him," Dawson said after the match. "A big team performance. We've dug in really well, and that was for Ethan."
Rooney revealed he'd received a message from McLeod's father the night before but didn't share it with the squad until after. "I didn't want to put that extra pressure on them with everything we've been through. It's been a really tough time. We've all stuck together through it."
A club risen from the ashes
Here's the mad thing: Macclesfield FC didn't even exist five years ago. The old Macclesfield Town got wound up in 2020, debts swallowing them whole. Then came Robert Smethurst, the owner, who — by his own admission — bought the club on Rightmove after a four-day drinking session.
"When I bought the club five years ago I never would have imagined this could happen," he told TNT Sports. "I've already planned the Ibiza trip with the boys."
You couldn't make it up.
Where does Palace go from here?
For Glasner, the questions are mounting. His contract expires in the summer. Manchester United are reportedly sniffing around. But form like this? Nine games winless? Losing to a team whose players work day jobs?
Marc Guehi and Adam Wharton — England internationals — started the match. £35 million signing Brennan Johnson came off the bench. Combined, that lot are probably worth more than Macclesfield's entire setup, stadium included.
Didn't matter. Chris Richards did a foul throw in the dying seconds. That's the level Palace were at.
When asked if he was worried about the rest of the season, Glasner was blunt: "Massively. Yes."
Macclesfield march into the fourth round. Palace limp back to south London with their tail between their legs. And somewhere in Cheshire, they're planning an Ibiza trip.
Football. Bloody hell.
